- I have no patience. I would love to have this but this just does not come easily for me. All you have to do is ask my entire family and the family I grew up with and they will tell you how often I struggled with my patience. With four kids and one of those four being a toddler, I would think I would need an extraordinary amount of patience to homeschool. Especially when, that said toddler, loves to dump anything that is liquid out all over her body in any given time of the day!
- That curriculum you have to buy is expensive! This family of six has a hard time keeping food in the house, let alone purchase curriculum! Are you crazy? Public school is free! Why and the world should I homeschool them and spend our money on books when they will do it for me for free?! I mean, we pay them through our taxes anyway, might as well use what we have paid for.
- I only have a high school diploma...and I'm not even sure how I got that! Now I am not saying I was a horrible student but I definitely was not on the A honor role . How in the world am I supposed to teach my children parts of speech or the dreaded Geometry? Surely someone more educated, who does not know my child, will do a much better job than me.
- My husband occasionally has to stay overnight for work. If I am going to have my kids here all day, I need HELP! And with my husband gone overnight (sometimes for a whole week) every other month, this is just not possible. How will I make it through my days with the kids still alive and my sanity still intact? No, this would just be too hard.
- I am a self proclaimed control/neat-freak. Everything in my world has it's place and if anything gets out of it's place, this momma is tempted to go nuts! I mean, even my shelves in my kitchen are labeled! You want me to have 4 children running around this house with pencils, markers, Legos, play-doh, and barbies flying everywhere; are you kidding me?! Not to mention the many trips they will have to my neatly organized kitchen, pulling out Doritos by the handful. No I don't think so.
- I am not crafty and I hate crafts! This all goes back to #5 and my need for a clean/organized house. Crafts create mess and I don't like mess. Now this may not be too bad for someone with say a 10 year old or older but my kids are still young. I could never do all the crafts they want to do! Just go take a look in my basement storage room and you will see many scrapbook projects: incomplete, sewing machines: never used, and many other ideas that just never seemed to happen. See, I like to think I am crafty, but it just never works out!
- Peace and Quiet are my friends. Extrovert? No not me, ever! Now I often wish I was like my husband in this but this is not the way God made me. I am very much an introvert. I do not like large crowds (aka field trips!), small talk, or attention put on me. I enjoy the quiet, safe confines of my home, a good book and my coffee. Now does this mean I am a hermit? I do not believe so. I still enjoy my time with close friends and getting out in the sunshine; I just can't do this for long, I eventually need my quiet time. If you do not know this yet let me tell you, children ARE NOT QUIET! Especially a couple of my children. I swear they do not have a quiet bone in their body. Just going to the restroom and having to put the toilet seat down sounds like an entire building fell on our house!
- I enjoy cooking but not that much. They want to be fed 4-5 times a day. I just can't fathom that. Do they really have to eat that much and that often? If they didn't then maybe I could do this but until then, I don't think so! I am not your personal chef kiddos. That is what the lunch ladies are paid for.
- No me time? Gym, lunch dates, shopping, trip to the salon, how in the world am I to get these things done with four children around me 24/7. I mean seriously, do they ever leave? I know I said in #7 that I like time alone but occasionally a momma needs to get out and see her close friends or she will be committed to a local insane asylum. I am serious here! And you do not want to see me in sweat pants every day.. it is not a pretty picture believe me!
- I am just too tired! I have a 2 year old for goodness sake. And like I said before, you leave her for a split second and she is pouring something gooey all over herself! I am a tired, worn out momma. I can't be adding something else to my plate; it's just not possible. I might physically break if I do that.
This journey of homeschooling, I do not do because I am capable. I am not in anyway capable to do this on my own. I do this because this is what God has called me to! And if God has called me to it, he will equip me, through the Holy Spirit, to have all it takes to teach my children.
If you are on the fence about homeschooling your child, I pray that you have read this over and over, and then completely erased it all! This is exactly what I told myself constantly when God called me to this ministry but you know what, it has been the best ministry of my life! Pray about it and if God is calling you to it all you have to do is say YES and let Him do the rest. Don't allow Satan to take over your thoughts!
*if you have not gotten the point yet, this is a satire. Just meant for fun and enjoyment. I love my children more than life itself and in no way do I regret my time with them. And no I DO NOT want them to leave :)