To start our year off we were very blessed to welcome a new baby girl to our family, L. I was so excited to meet her and have her join our family but that is where our trials started, right from birth. I wont go into the long story of her difficulties, you can read a little more about it here, but pretty much the just of it is she was born with breathing difficulties and was on oxygen and a heart monitor for close to 5 months, 3 of those months being 24/7. And we had no answers of why this could be or what caused it. And as always when you have medical needs/problems, we soon had financial difficulties. Spending a week in the NICU, then going 40 miles away for doctors appointments and paying $40 copay on top of that, and not to mention the costs of the machines she was on were adding up every day that they were still in our household. But God held us in his arms and comforted and we put all our trust in Him.
God gave me strength and patience like I never knew I had during this time. He brought me closer to Him with 100% dependence on Him.
Thank the Lord, we made it through this time and on June 2, 2011, we were 100% off all machines and things were looking up.
Fast forward to the end of June. I finally go to the doctor after my husband pretty much drags me there and they run blood work on me for some joint pains and issues I have been having. Some of those issues being not being able to open jars, fingers tightening up and becoming stiff, a constant achiness through my entire body to where I HAVE TO sit down and rest half way through the day just to even make it through the day. (I give these examples not to complain but to maybe help someone else who may be having the same symptoms).
Two weeks later blood work comes back and it shows positive readings for RA (rheumatoid arthritis). My heart drops. I have mixed feelings over this. While I am glad they found something so that hopefully I can start feeling better, the thought of more doctors bills, medications, and just trials in general does not sit well with me. I think, here we go again, will we ever get on top of anything.
I go to my appointment with the rheumotologist just a week ago and I am in positive hopes that this will turn out good and they will finally be able to start me on something to deal with these pains. Well God had other plans. He wants to test my patience even further . The rheumotologist did not want to start treatments right away, he wanted to re-run the blood work! Even though all my symptoms pointed to RA and my first results read positive, he did not want to begin treatments until he was 100% sure since I am so young (how sweet of him :) ). So after 3 hours of more blood work and x-rays I was finally headed home and in another waiting game.
2 days ago I received my lab work results back and it did show borderline positive RA. So I will go back to the doctor next Friday to go over what we will do from here. All prayers are appreciated :)
Through all this I am wondering why God, why can't we just get a break from it all! I am following what you have called me to do, homeschool and now I am being attacked. Then it hits me......that is WHY I am being attacked!
Satan is tempting me to keep me from doing God's work! And I believe God is allowing this to test me and see how dedicated I am to Him and His plans for me. Anytime you submit to Him and allow Him to work in your life anyway He chooses, you are going to face difficulties.
But do not let this keep you from doing His work. Because if you can make it through the trials, the reward is going to be so much greater in the end!!!!!
And this is what I am trusting in and striving towards. Satan is NOT going to break me, I will still march strong for God, for His glory to be shown through it all.
A few verses to leave you with to show truth through His word about trials:
1 Peter 1:7