"Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. " Proverbs 31:10-12: 17: 30
Throughout my whole life I have struggled with what it is a I am meant to do, what is my calling. I seem to try many different things in order to find this out because I don't want to do just anything, I want to do EXACTLY what God is leading me to do for His glory. I did not realize until a week ago though that I wasn't allowing God to show me, I was trying to figure it out all for myself. Even though I prayed on it daily, begging God to show me what I should do, I would still jump right into something new without really waiting to hear from God first. So therefore, of course, I did not succeed or wasn't happy in anything I did. I went from being a hairstylist to a bookkeeper to a daycare worker to owning my own home daycare to overly volunteering to the point I was burnt out. All of these adventures taught me many things about myself and some of them I loved, especially my daycare, but I either failed or became burnt out (as what happened with the daycare), because this was not God's plan it was mine.
So all of this came to me last week, I needed to TRUELY pray to God for his guidance and be patient and wait on him. While on vacation at the beach with my family I had the most amazing time and I prayed daily for God's guidance in my life and for me to feel as happy as I did that week, all the time.
We came back from the beach on Saturday and again I continued to pray. On Sunday night Monty and I were headed upstairs to get ready for bed. Monty went and took Buttons (our chorkie puppy) out while I loaded the dishwasher to run as we did every night. While loading the dishwasher I had this feeling of clarity come over me and felt someone say to me "Alyssa you are to be a Mom and Wife, that is your calling and that is a lot". I knew this HAD to be a message from God because I hadn't even being thinking about this at all that whole day, so for it to just come out of nowhere had to have been from a higher ground.
So, like I said, I have had so much clarity in my life and this past week has been the best week of my life. Yes I have worked harder than I have ever worked in our home; getting up at 6:00 to have time with God and make the family breakfast and us all have breakfast together is only one of the many things I changed; but I could not be happier. You know in that one hymn where he says " I'm going to shout it from the hilltops", well that is exactly how I feel right now and have felt like this non stop. To provide for my family is enough!! I think in the past I thought this is what I was supposed to do but I didn't think it was enough for God, now I know that God thinks that what I am doing, if I am giving it my 100% and it's for His glory, it is more than enough. It is what HE wants me to do.
I urge every mother and wife to read Proverbs 31:10-31 in it's entirety, it is so inspirational and lets you know how much God values of a christian wife and mom. I am sooo blessed.